I was with my dad in the car the other day, and we were talking about some old story from my childhood. When we were finished laughing and remembering, he said, "You were such a happy kid, Hannah." I didn't take this as "Geez, you used to be so happy, what happened??" I took it as "Your childhood years were so full of joy and so many priceless, jubilant memories are the result of them."
I really was happy. Looking back, I remember myself as a carefree, curly-haired kid full of laughter and creativity.
I still am happy. I'll admit it, I'm not satisfied, but I'm happy. I just feel like there is so much I could be doing with my life, so many different paths to choose from, and certain things are holding me back. It's unsettling, knowing I could be living my life to the fullest when, at the moment, I'm living it...ordinarily. I never thought I'd be afraid of such a thing as living an ordinary life, but I am. I never even thought about it until this year, when I'm discovering limits I didn't know existed.
So I have a lot on my mind, a few big decisions to make, and positive attitude to maintain through it all. I just have to hope and pray that everything falls into place. And so I'll leave you with a new favorite quote:
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -Joseph Addison